Bookmarking now and forever (x)
some helpful starter tips for transfems!
or at least, things that worked for me
- get your eyebrows waxed/threaded, it changes your face a lot!
- try groupon or w/e for cheap laser hair removal sessions, dont get IPL, it doesn’t last
- if you’re going to see a doctor about trans stuff, go to one advertised as an informed consent clinic or similar
- the WPATH standards of care have lots of info about confirmed effects and side effects of HRT, the drugs used, dosages and will let you know what to expect from your doctor.
- its okay to lie to doctors and spout off the traditional binary trans narrative if you suspect they might be gatekeepery pieces of shit!
- if you wear traditionally fem clothes to your first apptment and tell the doctor you’ve done a few months of ~real life experience~ you may get extra ~truetrans points~ and get on hormones faster!
- when looking for other resources online, avoid susans place, its very gross and binarist and very much pushes the traditional trans narrative, /asktransgender and /mtf on reddit are better, as is tsroadmap and tumblr
- when shaving legs etc for the first time, don’t use a normal razor on long hair. trim/wax or use a depilation cream first!
- if u can, bring a friend when u go out all femmed up the first few times, for confidence, and so they can fight mean people!
- you don’t have to subscribe to gender roles, traditional understandings of femininity, or beauty standards!
- go at your own pace, don’t let anyone rush you or hold you back!
-avoid terfs like the fuckening plague!
- ur cute as frick!
-you can message me if you ever want help or advice!
- i believe in you!
plz add advice or boost!
- If someone, especially another trans woman, criticizes or ‘questions’ your gender they are not your friend. They dress it up as concern for your well-being but it’s not. It is abuse designed to validate the abuser by invalidating you. Only you can determine your own gender.
- Likewise, when someone criticizes your ‘passability,’ they are not your friend. A good friend would help educate you on how to survive and how to maintain a positive body image in spite of your ability to conform to cissexist beauty standards.
- Seriously, there are trans women who lurk around support groups and do nothing but bully and demean newbie trans women. We call them ‘truescum’ for a reason. Sometimes the scum can form entire enclaves centered around demeaning newcomers. If you find yourself feeling belittled over your gender or gendered presentation, it’s because you’re in the wrong environment.
- It’s okay not to be able to emotionally stand on your own yet. In fact, it’s normal. Your first job as a budding trans woman is to find a supportive community of people to nurture and grow you into a self-realized person. Be prepared to walk out if you feel belittled or put down. The moderator or leader of the group should take steps to protect you if you are being ‘criticized.’
- Supportive and safe spaces exist, I promise.
- You are transgender and you are a woman, provided you want to be.
Milk Junkies: Trans Women and Breastfeeding: A Personal Interview
“Trans women,
individuals who were assigned male at birth but identify and live as
women, CAN breastfeed. It is possible, and totally awesome! Health care
providers, volunteer breastfeeding counsellors, and trans women
themselves need to learn this important, empowering fact.“
You Don’t Need to Be a Boy or a Girl | Alok Vaid-Menon
lucaiah’s great big fashion post for trans women and transfem people: version 1.0
hi my name’s lucaiah and i love fashion, so i wanted to help my trans sisters navigate the confusing world of women’s clothing! i’ll be covering things like clothing and shoe sizes, fashion tips, where to buy clothes, and what sort of essentials you might want to have in your wardrobe!
this primarily applies to Americans since i am American, just so you know! also i spent two hours writing this so, you know. reblog it perhaps.
1. Clothing and Shoe Sizes
- women’s shoe sizes in the US can be measured by taking your shoe size in men’s shoes and adding 2. for example: i wear a men’s size 8 and a women‘s size 10/11.
- zappos is a wonderful site for buying shoes! they have lots of sizes, and if your shoes don’t fit, you can return them with free shipping!
- payless also has women’s shoes in-store for up to size 13 or 14!
- women’s clothing sizes, however, vary wildly from brand to brand. most websites provide a size chart, fortunately. therefore, you WILL need to know your measurements. here’s what to do: get a measuring tape. it is a worthy investment.
- ok, now for BRA SIZES whoo! here’s how to get your bra size. feel free to hmu if you don’t understand it.
- underwear/panty sizes: i’ve found a men’s XL corresponds roughly to a woman’s size eight. don’t take my word for it, though: here’s a handy site for undie measurement.
2. Fashion Tips
i believe in wearing whatever you want to wear, fuck what cis people think. however, i also believe that wanting to “pass” as cis is a totally valid thing to want–especially if your safety is at risk. here are some tips:
- want to slim your shoulders? peplum designs, V-necks, and long necklaces are your friends. in fact, think “long” everything–long jackets, long shirts, long necklines. avoid structured shirts, shoulder pads, cropped shirts/jackets, and shirts with loud patterns.
- want to draw attention to your breasts? get a bra that fits. it makes a world of difference. aside from that, wear statement necklaces that show off your boobies and bright, patterned tops. also, stand up straight! good posture=nice boobs. i promise.
- want to narrow your waist? belts are your friend. wear a thinner belt if you’re thin and a wider belt if you’re not. corsets work too, if you’re into that, i guess. peplum tops and wrap dresses are another way to go.
- lolita clothing costs are sky-high, but if you can afford it, EVERYONE looks good in it! ;)
please consider it i love lolita so much- for my tall girls: http://www.buzzfeed.com/juliegerstein/21-very-necessary-style-tips-for-tall-girls#.cn03yMxn9
3. Where to Buy Clothes
time to be honest: skinny girls have more options than fat ones, and rich ones have more than poor ones. this fat poor person is going to list stores that carry plus-size options alongside smaller ones.
- walmart. yes, really. you will find hidden treasures here. cheap ones. buy the essentials here, too.
- target. i’m serious. trust me.
- maurice’s is a little pricey; be sure to use coupons + sales + clearances to your advantage. they go up to a size 24.
- forever 21 and forever 21+ tend to have great online sales, too. they go up to a 3x, occasionally 4x.
- kohl’s has nice clearances and some plus-size options. check out their bra sales.
- fellow fatties: don’t buy from torrid or lane bryant unless you have to or you have some really good coupons. there are better, cheaper clothes elsewhere.
- check your local waterfront mission/goodwill/thrift store/dollar store/what-have-you. they have good things, nice things. make sure to buy essentials here.
- modcloth has some cute clearance clothes!
4. Essentials
speaking of essentials, here’s what i recommend to have in your closet if you can afford it:
- 3 bras, one skin-tone if you can find it, one white, one black. maybe a sexy colorful bra, too. sexy bras make you feel good. alternate wearing a different bra every day to avoid undue wear and tear, and hang them in your closet instead of folding them up in a drawer. buy a good brand, your boobs will thank you.
- two pairs of basic dark-wash jeans. look good on everyone, you can wear them almost anywhere.
- a pencil skirt, black or grey.
- a white button-down.
- a black tank top, a white tank top, and a colorful tank top. they can be paired with many things, and are also good for preserving your modesty if that low-cut shirt is a little too low.
- as much underwear as you can afford. here’s a thread on the best types to buy for tucking.
- whatever you feel like i mean hon i ain’t the fashion police
5. You Look Beautiful
i mean it. girls? all pretty. i love you. you’re amazing. go kick ass!
everyone feel free to add on to or correct this post, especially with options for international stores and for makeup! (i have no clue how to makeup. i am sorry)
i also recommend the subreddit “ABraThatFits” because they have resources/advice/guides specifically for trans women and transfemme people!!
heres a rad idea: stop throwing dmab nonbinary people under the bus whenever you talk about nonbinary people as a whole
nonbinary people arent just dfab/transmasculine with colorful undercuts and flat chests
protect dmab nonbinary people who have to deal with this strange notion that masculine features are gender-neutral
protect dmab nonbinary people with deep voices who get misgendered constantly because of it
protect dmab nonbinary people who do everything they can to change their appearance/wardrobe so they dont feel dysphoric
protect dmab nonbinary people who cant
protect dmab nonbinary people
My Problems Dmab Nonbinary Representation
- Everything is dfab centered, from dysphoria ref pages to nb safe spaces, everything where we should be seeing ourselves equally
- “Masculinity isn’t androgynous” while well-meaning does not do it’s job of helping feminine androgyny grow. It makes people who have no choice but to look masculine (aka dmab people) feel like shit
- When we are brought up, it’s in two ways: posts that are ‘sorry’ we aren’t mentioned more, or us being lumped in with trans women
- Being ‘sorry’ doesn’t do shit, how about do something proactive so apologizing isn’t necessary
- While trans women are wonderful, we are not the same. We have different needs. Many of us can’t find refuge in feminine things like (most) trans women b/c nb people often don’t feel comfortable expressing masculine or feminine.
- While reference guides for tucking are nice, we need more dysphoria refs. We don’t all tuck. We need other information spread too (safe hair removal for instance, which after years of growing hair I personally know jack shit about)
- Inclusion. If you’re running an nb help blog, or an advice column, or anything like that, you’d better have at least one dmab mod, if not, more. Otherwise you’re really not helping us.
- Community. Spread posts and information about and for dmab people. Make sure your community spaces are inclusive and welcoming to us so we don’t feel guilty for being around. It’s not fair for us to feel unwelcome because we can’t see ourselves where we have every right to be
- Please reblog this, or contact me if I was too vague about a point or incorrect about something
- Other dmab nb people: feel free to talk to me, I’m here for you
mostly for new followers: i wrote a novel about a Latina trans girl in living South Texas (basically me). it’s not perfect or anything, but it’s the kind of book that i wanted to be there for me. if you’re a trans woman (or trans fem or amab non binary) then you can download the novel for free here. if you’re not a trans woman you can buy a copy here.
It’s funny because my beau and I got an electric razor for our hair soon after I made this comic, and I haven’t shaved with a straight razor since.
Official GQutie Blog / Portfolio / Patreon / INPRNT
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[NOTE: Feel free to cut this off in your reblogs. I know it’s super long even compared to some of my news additions. Just please consider also reblogging the separate post I made.]
I thought I’d add this down here, mostly because I had been wanting to say something since Leelah Alcorn’s suicide came to light, but I had my own mental health throw me a curveball and I haven’t been able to keep up on a lot of things, including this comic that so many of you read.
Comics aren’t a very respected art. There seems to be changes on the horizon, but every artist I’ve met has had some kind of internalized feeling that what they make doesn’t matter. As obituary after obituary rolls by on my feed, I feel like my art means nothing, because it can’t stay the hands of abusers and murderers.
But here’s the thing. One of the most received messages I’ve gotten on GQutie is “This comic makes me feel less alone”. For trans people, (even more for trans women, dmab nonbinary people, and trans people of color), the feeling of isolation is one of the most powerful psychological enemies, because it enforces the idea that there’s something wrong with us if we’re the only one. That’s why representation matters: because what art brings to the table is a way to break down the walls of isolation. It doesn’t fix all the ills of the world, even all those in the transgender world, but it can become one more source of strength from which to draw. It’s not everything, but it’s something.
So, really, that’s why I make comics. To express myself, of course, but also to help people feel less alone. It’s important, and it matters.
However, my art doesn’t do that for everyone. My perspective is limited to what it’s like for a white, thin-passing, dfab nonbinary person. So, I want to also pass along some other comics by trans and gender nonconforming people
@themanicpixienightmaregirl is a lovely set of comics that has a wry sense of humor while exploring the artist’s experience as a trans woman. transgirlnextdoor does wonderfully light-hearted cute comics about her experience transitioning. bethanycantdraw does really awesome comics about their experience as a boi/grrl as well as illustrations, all of which are full of texture and sharp humor.
I’m currently working on building another bibliography for GQutie #1 like I did GQutie #0, and I want to focus on finding artists who DON’T fit my profile (most of the nb comic artists I know do) and give readers a place to start in expanding their trans comic world. If anyone has some recommendations, please drop me a line!
