some helpful starter tips for transfems!
or at least, things that worked for me
- get your eyebrows waxed/threaded, it changes your face a lot!
- try groupon or w/e for cheap laser hair removal sessions, dont get IPL, it doesn’t last
- if you’re going to see a doctor about trans stuff, go to one advertised as an informed consent clinic or similar
- the WPATH standards of care have lots of info about confirmed effects and side effects of HRT, the drugs used, dosages and will let you know what to expect from your doctor.
- its okay to lie to doctors and spout off the traditional binary trans narrative if you suspect they might be gatekeepery pieces of shit!
- if you wear traditionally fem clothes to your first apptment and tell the doctor you’ve done a few months of ~real life experience~ you may get extra ~truetrans points~ and get on hormones faster!
- when looking for other resources online, avoid susans place, its very gross and binarist and very much pushes the traditional trans narrative, /asktransgender and /mtf on reddit are better, as is tsroadmap and tumblr
- when shaving legs etc for the first time, don’t use a normal razor on long hair. trim/wax or use a depilation cream first!
- if u can, bring a friend when u go out all femmed up the first few times, for confidence, and so they can fight mean people!
- you don’t have to subscribe to gender roles, traditional understandings of femininity, or beauty standards!
- go at your own pace, don’t let anyone rush you or hold you back!
-avoid terfs like the fuckening plague!
- ur cute as frick!
-you can message me if you ever want help or advice!
- i believe in you!
plz add advice or boost!
- If someone, especially another trans woman, criticizes or ‘questions’ your gender they are not your friend. They dress it up as concern for your well-being but it’s not. It is abuse designed to validate the abuser by invalidating you. Only you can determine your own gender.
- Likewise, when someone criticizes your ‘passability,’ they are not your friend. A good friend would help educate you on how to survive and how to maintain a positive body image in spite of your ability to conform to cissexist beauty standards.
- Seriously, there are trans women who lurk around support groups and do nothing but bully and demean newbie trans women. We call them ‘truescum’ for a reason. Sometimes the scum can form entire enclaves centered around demeaning newcomers. If you find yourself feeling belittled over your gender or gendered presentation, it’s because you’re in the wrong environment.
- It’s okay not to be able to emotionally stand on your own yet. In fact, it’s normal. Your first job as a budding trans woman is to find a supportive community of people to nurture and grow you into a self-realized person. Be prepared to walk out if you feel belittled or put down. The moderator or leader of the group should take steps to protect you if you are being ‘criticized.’
- Supportive and safe spaces exist, I promise.
- You are transgender and you are a woman, provided you want to be.
