Life Outside The Binary
Nonbinary Transgender Information Centre

Script-Coming Out

conversationscripts:

This script is for coming out as MOGAI/LGBTQPIA+. It’s fine to just drop it into conversation, but for those who would rather have a formal conversation, try this.

You: Can I talk to you about something? It’s not bad news but it is important.
Them: Ok.
You:(when you are in private) So, the thing I wanted to tell you is that I am [orientation/gender]. (If your orientation or gender is a less well known one, you could give an explanation of what that means. If you’ve come out as a different gender and use different pronouns to your old ones, nows the time to say.)
Them: [positive reaction]/[negative reaction]
Hopefully their reaction will be positive in which case you can just continue the conversation. If a reaction is not so good, you could try to educate the person, but I wouldn’t blame anyone who just tells them to fuck off.

unicornsandtruckerhats:

queercorn:

I want lgbt book stores, lgbt coffee houses, and lgbt theaters to replace lgbt bars as centers of community, places to meet people, and lgbt rights of passage.

YES. i am so fucking TIRED of every queer event being at a bar or another 21+ venue, especially when alcoholism is a thing for so many, esp. queer youth, and community isolation is such a major factor in so many suicides.

interactyouth:

The following intersex FAQ was compiled by the members of Inter/Act. It is intended to be a living document that we will continue to tweak, change, add-to and subtract from. Please feel free to reference it, re-blog it, and ask us questions (on tumblr or at inter.act@aiclegal.org)

What is intersex?

Intersex is an umbrella term that describes people born with intersex conditions or DSD (Differences of Sex Development). There are over 30 different conditions that cause intersex people to have physical differences inside and/or outside their bodies, making their sex neither purely male or female. Biology class has always taught us that sex is merely black and white, “male” or “female,” but now we know that’s not true. There are a lot of awesome gray areas in the middle!

What are some intersex conditions?

There are over many conditions that fall under the intersex umbrella including, but not limited to: Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome (AIS), Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia, Klinefelter Syndrome, Hypospadias, Mayer-Rokitansky-Küster-Hauser Syndrome (MRKH), Swyer Syndrome, Turner Syndrome, 5-Alpha Reductase Deficiency. Please see the ISNA (Intersex Society of North America) website for more information on specific conditions.

How common are intersex people?

Intersex people are about 1-2% of the population, or 1 in every 2,000 people. That’s as common as natural born redheads! We’re not rare, just invisible.

So how come I’ve never heard of intersex before?

The intersex community has a long history of shame and secrecy, for so many reasons. For starters, many doctors have told patients that they’ll never meet anyone like themselves. Sometimes they’ll even tell them not to talk about their conditions to anyone! On top of that, doctors and parents often try to “fix” intersex kid’s bodies with unnecessary surgeries, trying to make them fit into their idea of “normal.” Not to mention each condition is different, so educating the general public is hard when there is so much information to talk about.

It sounds like intersex conditions can be hard to care for!

They can be. Finding a good doctor that you can really connect with is so important for intersex people. Sometimes doctors don’t know the best way to handle each specific person. We all need to be informed about our bodies, our options, and the research that’s been done so we can make the best decisions possible. Making an informed decision is the most important thing an intersex person can do, so please don’t rush into anything.

How does gender fit into intersex?

Not quite as simply as you might think! Intersex relates to biological sex and a person’s genetic traits, internal and external reproductive organs, hormones, and secondary sex characteristics. Gender is more about the way somebody feels or identifies. This means intersex individuals identify as female, male, man, woman, or a multitude of identities just as non-intersex individuals do. Some examples include genderqueer, agender, third gender, two-spirit, and the list doesn’t end there.  It’s important to remember that gender is fluid, not stagnant, possibly alternating its course during a person’s journey

How does intersex differ from transgender?

Intersex is often confused with transgender, but they are actually very different things. Intersex is when your biological sex doesn’t neatly fit into the male/female binary, but transgender is when you feel as if your assigned sex does not match your gender identity. Someone can be both intersex and transgender!

What terms can I use to talk about intersex people?

Intersex and DSD are the two current terms that most people use interchangeably. However, they both are controversial for different people.  Some of our youth feel more comfortable with DSD as it might be the only term they are familiar with, while others prefer intersex over DSD. All intersex folks have the right to self define themselves at any particular point in their journey. It’s better for people to come to their own conclusions about how they want to identify, rather than be told or pushed into identifying a certain way. If you don’t know how someone identifies, feel free to ask!

Can I use the word hermaphrodite?

No. Hermaphrodite is a harmful term that is widely considered a slur, please don’t use it. It’s a stigmatizing word that people associate with having both sets of working genetalia, which is rarely possible in humans, if at all. Some intersex folk have started reclaiming the term, but that is for them to decide and use, not for you.

What are some other terms I should know?

Ambiguous Genitalia - Genitalia that doesn’t look clearly “male” or “female.” However, no genitals look the same, and nobody’s genitalia is “ambiguous.” It’s all just genitals!

Dyadic - Some intersex people have started using dyadic to describe those who are not intersex (meaning, they fit the “male” or “female” binary)

Cisgender- When a person’s gender identity matches their assigned sex. For example, a person assigned female at birth and identifies as a woman is considered cisgender. This term can get confusing with intersex individuals - some use it, some don’t.

HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy)  - This is an important tool in an intersex person’s tool box. HRT ensures that an intersex person’s physical and emotional health needs are properly maintained. If someone’s hormone needs (for things like development, body regulation, or bone growth) aren’t being met, they may go on HRT to figure out the best hormone levels for their bodies.

Informed Consent - This term gets thrown a lot, especially when talking about surgeries of intersex people. Basically, it means that nobody should be operated on without their full knowledge of circumstances, repercussions, reasoning, etc. For example, babies and children are too young to fully understand and give informed consent.

Preferred Pronouns - Many people (intersex or otherwise) don’t identify as a binary gender, especially when their bodies don’t line up in a typical binary box. Ask someone what their preferred gender pronoun is. They’ll love you for it!

What are some other intersex resources?

We have an ever-growing list of resources on our page. Please check there for more information on support groups or legal help.

What can you do as an ally?

Call out others when they say harmful things. Be our advocates where you can, but also give us a chance to educate. Don’t speak over an intersex person, as chances are we’re a lot more familiar with these issues than you are. Listen and try to understand our stories, as we’re pretty incredible people. :)

beautifuloutlier:

I want to note that the way the sex binary looks like it’s present throughout the animal world is that white scientists have a terrible habit of labeling everything “male” or “female” even when it makes no sense.

Like, by any reasonable metric, bees have three sexes: drone, queen, and worker. Workers are only labelled female because someone couldn’t abide the idea of something not being either one or the other.

And before someone calls “genetics” there are many species where both sexes have the exact same genetics, and even many where individuals can change reproductive capacity at will, and scientists suddenly have no problem calling the ones who grow eggs “female” even though they were “male” two weeks ago.

Some species of mammals reproduce asexually. They have only one sex. It is still called “female” because it makes babies even though one might reasonably ask why even make the distinction when every single individual makes babies just the same.

This Phone App Helps Transgender Users Change The Pitch And Tone Of Their Voices

glsen:

buzzfeedlgbt reports on this amazing app:

The app’s website states it will take at least 6 to 12 months to effectively alter one’s voice. This video clip features an example “before and after” segment, having a user sample her “original” and “altered” voice:

As one user of the app put it: “Voice can be a real liability. There are definitely large parts of this country, even this state, where it’s dangerous to be trans. It can be a matter of life or death.”

At just $4.99, this app is a far more affordable option for users than visiting a vocal coach or speech pathologist. What a great resource!

aroavenger:

meaninglessladders:

aroavenger:

i’m crying oh gosh

TUMBLR PROF ANNOUNCEMENT: If you are trans or nonbinary and you are in the same situation as the student above, email your professors before class starts. I understand that it might be uncomfortable, but generally professors are absolutely happy to accommodate you. I know I always will be!

If your professor does not respond positively, contact the Dean or the campus LGBT+ resource center with a copy of the email and show them that you are concerned about gender discrimination in the classroom. 

Also this is a link to the template I used to write this email, and I’ve seen another similar template going around, and this was extremely helpful.

Trans-Uterus - on trans women being able to carry children

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eugeniced:

scrapes:

redtemplo:

bawkbawk-motherclucker:

queerfucker:

tipsfortransfolks:

The recent CBS story regarding nine Swedish women who received uterus transplants undoubtedly caught the attention of transgender women throughout the world. Anyone, with even the slightest awareness of the advancement of medical science, understands that eventually there will be few things left in the realm of impossible. The idea that a transgender woman will one day be able to carry a child in her womb is no longer just an idea. It is a reality of the future.

tell everyone.

If this becomes a thing I think I’d like to donate my uterus to a trans woman.

Yes!!!!

this is fucking AWESOME

OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!

**goes off**

minus18:

When you come out as trans, people sometimes take a while to adjust to your new pronouns, or don’t quite understand.

So we launched a new campaign to help! An article that introduces the topic, a video with a rundown from trans young people, and a web app where you can learn and practice pronouns!

Here’s our easy way to help your friends and family get your pronouns right and understand why it’s important.

Anonymous:
Will taking antiandrogens on their own reduce my upper body muscle mass or would i need to also take estrogen for that to have an effect? From what i have found through my research most of the changes to fat and muscle are due to estrogen rather than the absence of testosterone.

lifeoutsidethebinary-queries:

i believe that using anti-androgens is generally not recommended long-term without also taking estrogen, because you risk effecting your bone health among other things without the presence of sex hormones.

I’m not sure about the effects of estrogen/lack of testosterone on muscle mass - followers have any experience is that area?

-newt

http://penicillium-pusher.tumblr.com/post/96900477830/transrants-gravekat-softkats-pizzatomb

transrants:

gravekat:

softkats:

pizzatomb:

aside from being cissexist the whole XX = female and XY = male thing is Straight-Up Wrong

AFAB people can have XO, XXX, XXXX and XY chromosomes while AMAB people have have XXYY, XYY, and XX chromosomes and…

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pohroro