Saying that man and woman are the only genders is actually LESS nuanced than saying that earth, water, air, and fire are the only elements.
This is fantastic.
Bookmarking now and forever (x)
some helpful starter tips for transfems!
or at least, things that worked for me
- get your eyebrows waxed/threaded, it changes your face a lot!
- try groupon or w/e for cheap laser hair removal sessions, dont get IPL, it doesn’t last
- if you’re going to see a doctor about trans stuff, go to one advertised as an informed consent clinic or similar
- the WPATH standards of care have lots of info about confirmed effects and side effects of HRT, the drugs used, dosages and will let you know what to expect from your doctor.
- its okay to lie to doctors and spout off the traditional binary trans narrative if you suspect they might be gatekeepery pieces of shit!
- if you wear traditionally fem clothes to your first apptment and tell the doctor you’ve done a few months of ~real life experience~ you may get extra ~truetrans points~ and get on hormones faster!
- when looking for other resources online, avoid susans place, its very gross and binarist and very much pushes the traditional trans narrative, /asktransgender and /mtf on reddit are better, as is tsroadmap and tumblr
- when shaving legs etc for the first time, don’t use a normal razor on long hair. trim/wax or use a depilation cream first!
- if u can, bring a friend when u go out all femmed up the first few times, for confidence, and so they can fight mean people!
- you don’t have to subscribe to gender roles, traditional understandings of femininity, or beauty standards!
- go at your own pace, don’t let anyone rush you or hold you back!
-avoid terfs like the fuckening plague!
- ur cute as frick!
-you can message me if you ever want help or advice!
- i believe in you!
plz add advice or boost!
- If someone, especially another trans woman, criticizes or ‘questions’ your gender they are not your friend. They dress it up as concern for your well-being but it’s not. It is abuse designed to validate the abuser by invalidating you. Only you can determine your own gender.
- Likewise, when someone criticizes your ‘passability,’ they are not your friend. A good friend would help educate you on how to survive and how to maintain a positive body image in spite of your ability to conform to cissexist beauty standards.
- Seriously, there are trans women who lurk around support groups and do nothing but bully and demean newbie trans women. We call them ‘truescum’ for a reason. Sometimes the scum can form entire enclaves centered around demeaning newcomers. If you find yourself feeling belittled over your gender or gendered presentation, it’s because you’re in the wrong environment.
- It’s okay not to be able to emotionally stand on your own yet. In fact, it’s normal. Your first job as a budding trans woman is to find a supportive community of people to nurture and grow you into a self-realized person. Be prepared to walk out if you feel belittled or put down. The moderator or leader of the group should take steps to protect you if you are being ‘criticized.’
- Supportive and safe spaces exist, I promise.
- You are transgender and you are a woman, provided you want to be.
lucaiah’s great big fashion post for trans women and transfem people: version 1.0
hi my name’s lucaiah and i love fashion, so i wanted to help my trans sisters navigate the confusing world of women’s clothing! i’ll be covering things like clothing and shoe sizes, fashion tips, where to buy clothes, and what sort of essentials you might want to have in your wardrobe!
this primarily applies to Americans since i am American, just so you know! also i spent two hours writing this so, you know. reblog it perhaps.
1. Clothing and Shoe Sizes
- women’s shoe sizes in the US can be measured by taking your shoe size in men’s shoes and adding 2. for example: i wear a men’s size 8 and a women‘s size 10/11.
- zappos is a wonderful site for buying shoes! they have lots of sizes, and if your shoes don’t fit, you can return them with free shipping!
- payless also has women’s shoes in-store for up to size 13 or 14!
- women’s clothing sizes, however, vary wildly from brand to brand. most websites provide a size chart, fortunately. therefore, you WILL need to know your measurements. here’s what to do: get a measuring tape. it is a worthy investment.
- ok, now for BRA SIZES whoo! here’s how to get your bra size. feel free to hmu if you don’t understand it.
- underwear/panty sizes: i’ve found a men’s XL corresponds roughly to a woman’s size eight. don’t take my word for it, though: here’s a handy site for undie measurement.
2. Fashion Tips
i believe in wearing whatever you want to wear, fuck what cis people think. however, i also believe that wanting to “pass” as cis is a totally valid thing to want–especially if your safety is at risk. here are some tips:
- want to slim your shoulders? peplum designs, V-necks, and long necklaces are your friends. in fact, think “long” everything–long jackets, long shirts, long necklines. avoid structured shirts, shoulder pads, cropped shirts/jackets, and shirts with loud patterns.
- want to draw attention to your breasts? get a bra that fits. it makes a world of difference. aside from that, wear statement necklaces that show off your boobies and bright, patterned tops. also, stand up straight! good posture=nice boobs. i promise.
- want to narrow your waist? belts are your friend. wear a thinner belt if you’re thin and a wider belt if you’re not. corsets work too, if you’re into that, i guess. peplum tops and wrap dresses are another way to go.
- lolita clothing costs are sky-high, but if you can afford it, EVERYONE looks good in it! ;)
please consider it i love lolita so much- for my tall girls: http://www.buzzfeed.com/juliegerstein/21-very-necessary-style-tips-for-tall-girls#.cn03yMxn9
3. Where to Buy Clothes
time to be honest: skinny girls have more options than fat ones, and rich ones have more than poor ones. this fat poor person is going to list stores that carry plus-size options alongside smaller ones.
- walmart. yes, really. you will find hidden treasures here. cheap ones. buy the essentials here, too.
- target. i’m serious. trust me.
- maurice’s is a little pricey; be sure to use coupons + sales + clearances to your advantage. they go up to a size 24.
- forever 21 and forever 21+ tend to have great online sales, too. they go up to a 3x, occasionally 4x.
- kohl’s has nice clearances and some plus-size options. check out their bra sales.
- fellow fatties: don’t buy from torrid or lane bryant unless you have to or you have some really good coupons. there are better, cheaper clothes elsewhere.
- check your local waterfront mission/goodwill/thrift store/dollar store/what-have-you. they have good things, nice things. make sure to buy essentials here.
- modcloth has some cute clearance clothes!
4. Essentials
speaking of essentials, here’s what i recommend to have in your closet if you can afford it:
- 3 bras, one skin-tone if you can find it, one white, one black. maybe a sexy colorful bra, too. sexy bras make you feel good. alternate wearing a different bra every day to avoid undue wear and tear, and hang them in your closet instead of folding them up in a drawer. buy a good brand, your boobs will thank you.
- two pairs of basic dark-wash jeans. look good on everyone, you can wear them almost anywhere.
- a pencil skirt, black or grey.
- a white button-down.
- a black tank top, a white tank top, and a colorful tank top. they can be paired with many things, and are also good for preserving your modesty if that low-cut shirt is a little too low.
- as much underwear as you can afford. here’s a thread on the best types to buy for tucking.
- whatever you feel like i mean hon i ain’t the fashion police
5. You Look Beautiful
i mean it. girls? all pretty. i love you. you’re amazing. go kick ass!
everyone feel free to add on to or correct this post, especially with options for international stores and for makeup! (i have no clue how to makeup. i am sorry)
i also recommend the subreddit “ABraThatFits” because they have resources/advice/guides specifically for trans women and transfemme people!!
Light to Dark.
Autumn is fast approaching which means its time for a transformation!
For as long as I can remember, I have changed with the seasons.
Not necessarily just my wardrobe but my emotions are a bit different as well. I am particularly excited about this Fall season because I feel that I have grown tremendously since last year.This photo set begins with my last few outfits of the summer, then leads you into just a little taste of what my followers can expect to see this Fall/Winter season. I want to use deep hair, lip & nail colors to accent a dark and mysterious wardrobe. Focusing on cosmetics & shoes, my goal is to address the issues gender variant individuals might face this season when buying clothes and cosmetics tailored for a binary gendered society.
A few topics include facial hair & how I maintain it for make up application, as well as how AFAB can grow facial hair without taking hormones! A shoe guide that connects you with affordable brands that offer trendy shoe styles in sizes 11 & higher! Last but not least, I will begin making the lip colors & nail colors I wear in my fashion post available to you via my Thrift Store! A few other things will take place this fall, but you’ll have to stay tuned to find out!
Along with elevating my style, I also am striving to elevate the presence of House of Alexzander. I’m excited and anticipating a great Season ahead!Much love,
Xoxo
-Elliott Alexzander
