Dara Hoffman-Fox

Hi this is Dara Hoffman-Fox, welcome to “Ask a Gender Therapist”! This is where I do my best to answer your transgender questions from my personal perspectiv…

Dara Hoffman-Fox is a gender therapist who’s willing to help.

-submitted by anonymous

Anonymous:

Is it weird for me to be comfortable with my biological sex but still want to have a more feminine body? I am really unconfortable with my body because of my secondary sex characteristics (My bone structure, musculature, voice, etc) but I dont want to be female. More I want to be somewhere in between or a mix of different aspects of both male and female. Im realy unsure about how I should approch this issue and I'm kind of desperate for advice.

It sounds like you’re experiencing dysphoria, which people can experience to varying degrees. It is totally fine to be comfortable with your biological sex and still feel like you want to make changes to other characteristics! It is not weird at all.

It sounds like your ultimate goal is a more androgynous figure, which is definitely attainable. Hormones might be something to look into since the changes you want would be brought on by that. But by no means are you obligated to transition to the other side of the binary, or identify as female, even if you take hormones. Your identity is separate, unique, and determined you. My own plan is to take hormones until my body looks the way it feels best.

The first step in this process is to find a gender therapist (if possible, someone who is comfortable with non-binary identities) and talk this over with them. They’ll be able to give you a letter that you give to a doctor to start the process, if that is what you desire. I hope this was helpful!

-Kai

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