Anonymous:

Hi. Been having issues with my gender identity. Thought I was a cis woman but new trans friends/research made me unsure whether I really am or just assumed b/c that's what I've always been called. Try to think about my experience of gender & can't really find anything- only feel like "one of the girls" when targeted by sexism. I don't know if that's b/c I don't personally grasp "gender" as an emotional idea, I'm a fish that doesn't understand water, or I'm agender. Any advice would be helpful?

lifeoutsidethebinary:

i actually realized I was genderqueer when my friend came out to me that they were - which is also the same time i’d ever heard the word or been exposed to the idea of nonbinary gender.

when I came out as trans, not a single one of my cis friends started questioning their genders because of it. that’s because they’re cis. the definition of cis is that they are comfortable being cis. if the sudden exposure to the idea of trans identities is making you second guess yourself, there’s probably a reason for that. especially if it’s to the point where you’re actively researching it and asking questions about it on nonbinary blogs :P

ask yourself, “what about this resonates with me? why do i feel compelled to explore this?” if you dont feel like you “grasp gender as an emotional idea”, that definitely sounds like agender to me. if you’re trying to find an identity that fits, it’s ok to ask a few (safe) friends to test out pronouns or identifiers for you. just say like “for the next 2 weeks/month I want you to call me [they pronouns or whatever] because i want to see if those pronouns would be more comfortable” 

also try standing infront of a mirror and saying different statements about yourself (i.e. “I am a girl”/”I am a boy”/”I am agender”… etc.) and see how those words make you feel.

I hope this helps!

-newt