Disclosing Nonbinary Identity to Teachers - Stock Letter

androgyneity:

I usually send out a letter to all of my teachers as the beginning of each semester making them aware of my trans/nonbinary status and language preferences. I thought my letter this year was pretty good, and though the information in the letter is pretty specific to my circumstances, I thought it might work well as a stock letter, for others to use as a reference to write coming out letters to their teachers.

____________________________________________________________

Hi [Teacher’s Name],

I’m sending this out as an email to all of my teachers this semester, to make you aware of some information that is important to my education here at [School’s Name].

I am a transgender person - specifically, I am nonbinary. Basically what that means is I’m of a gender that is neither male nor female. Since the way in which people interact with and speak about each other is so dependant on gender, it is usually necessary for me to disclose this information at the beginning of each semester, in order to let people know how to refer to me.

My preferred and legally recognized name is [Name], and the pronouns I use are gender-neutral “they/them/their/themself”. While using gender-neutral pronouns is my strong preference, I understand that many people who may have never interacted with a nonbinary person before may have difficultly adjusting to using “they” in the singular form - in which, case “he” is preferable to “she”. I also prefer to be referred to using gender-neutral language (“person” instead of “boy or girl”, etc.)

I understand that, since nonbinary people are such a small portion of the population, this might be difficult for some to understand. If you are interested in accessing further resources or learning more about nonbinary and transgender people and accommodating them in the classroom, I have included some links to external resources.

I appreciate your anticipated support.

Sincerely,

[Name]

Creating Inclusive Classrooms For Transgender Students

Gender Spectrum Education Resources    

“Hey! I need a little advice if that’s okay. So I’m genderfluid and I’ve come out to my parents and most of my main friend group, but I’m not publicly out. I’d really like to be, as soon as possible- but my parents are saying I should wait until next school year, so I’m going to be publicly out next semester. However, I have a teacher that I’d really like to tell but everyone is saying that it would stress her out and I should wait till I tell the public. Do you have any ideas what I should do?”

Personally, I came out to my teachers when I was ready to come out to everyone, because I wanted everyone to be using my name and pronouns, and to have a clear idea of how I wanted to be seen, and why. I emailed my teachers before the semester started explaining my identity and preferred name & pronouns, and that went well because everyone had a clear idea of what proper action to take. Then I emailed my class of students (had a small class at the time) so they knew as well, and I could come into the new semester as a new person with everyone on board. 

If you want to confide in this teacher or ask them advice before you come out, I think that’s great, and that interaction could be very rewarding. But I think telling a teacher a “secret” and asking them to keep it indefinitely would probably be stressful. So I think it depends on why you want to talk to the teacher in the first place. :)

Hope this helps!
-Kai