Anonymous:

I'm genderfluid but I usually feel like a boy. The other day my bf who is on T now, asked if I want to start it and that I'd look good with a beard which I really want, but ai'm not sure if I want everything that comes with T. I don't know what to do

think about what effects you want and what you dont want and do research to see if they will be achievable in that order. facial hair is usually on of the last changes people experience on testosterone, though it’s different for everyone. if the men in your family have a lot of facial hair than you probably would too, but if not you may be out of luck.

-newt

Anonymous:

can you please stop using "mtf" "mtn" etc? its really inaccurate and problematic to assume that someone ever was the gender they were assigned at birth

i know that those initialisms dont reflect the gender identities of most people, but i tag them because they are terms that people use to describe a certain form of physical transition, and someone checking those tags might be able to help out the anon. i wasnt trying to imply that those terms were related to the gender identity of the person.

it’s the same as i might tag “ftm” for someone who has a testosterone question i couldnt answer. it’s not implying that that person identifies as ftm, but to bring the question to the attention of the people who check the ftm tag because it someone there could probably help with the topic of transition.

-newt

Anonymous:

Ummm, your "Five common insecurities" post may have just saved my life. I came home, and I could not fight the thought of hanging myself. I felt like a failure as a trans person, like my decisions were a joke, like I'd made a terrible mess of my life, but something about that post, it saved me. I do feel alone, I do feel isolated, but for a brief moment, I felt less so. Thank you. Just thank you.

wow. im so glad that my article helped you so much. I wrote that article in hopes that it would help other people not feel as isolated as I did, and the response I’ve gotten has definitely motivated me to write more on different topics in the future.

stay strong, we’re all on this crazy gender train together.

-newt

Anonymous:

I need some advice- I want to come out to my dad as nonbinary, and I don't think he's the type to make my house unsafe if I were out to him, but every time I try, I get choked up from being too scared and nervous. I couldn't even ask him when a good time to have a serious conversation would be. I don't know why I'm so scared, I've told nearly everyone else in my life (not family) pretty easily- is there any way for me to do this without ending up in tears from the anxiety?

your family are always that hardest people to come out to. if you dont feel like you can handle a face-to-face conversation about something like that, it’s perfectly fine and you’re allowed to navigate coming out however.

letters are really helpful like things like this, because then you can get out everything you need to say and dont have to worry about forgetting something important because you’re nervous. you could leave the letter somewhere your dad would find it in the morning on a day you’re going to be out of the house for the day, so you can just come home and he’ll already have read it.

granted you’re still going to have a conversation about the letter, but hopefully the letter could at least get all the information out there for you first and greatly shorten the conversation part.

good luck!

-newt

Anonymous:

Um, your emergency link on resources is broken.

im terribly sorry about that!! it’s fixed now

-newt

Anonymous:

TW: DYSPHORIA well and a lot of the time nipples look a lot different like i've noticed that on cis dudes (at least in media) their nipples are a lot smaller and placed a little differently than the nipples on cis women (again, at least in most media), and i think that associating your own nipples with those of either of those groups could be really dysphoria inducing.

or honestly like i could see someone getting dysphoric over even just having nipples in general? bc it might be something they associate with being either a man or a woman?

nipple dysphoria is pretty common for a lot of reasons. I don’t know about being dysphoric about not having nipples though, i’ve never heard of anything like that, and people of every sex have nipples, not just male and female

Anonymous:

This might sound oblivious, but I thought that both females and males had nipples???

they do but you could be dysphoria about you nipples looking too feminine or masculine? i know a lot of afab people have dysphoria around their nipples

-newt

Anonymous:

How do I come out to my parents? I'm out as a lesbian and have always been pretty kinda boyish. They knew I was gay since I have 5 (I came out at 18). I've been wearing a binder around them. My dad calls me his little man in a loving way. How do I tell them I'm genderqueer?

i’ve found for new concepts like nonbinary gender it’s easier to first bring it up in reference to something else, like a friend, so it gives them an understanding of what it is before they have to understand how it applies to you.

it sounds like your parents probably wont be too surprised if you’ve been gender non-conforming your whole life. like i always say, arm yourself with resources! it makes it infinitely easier to explain something to someone if you have further reading to direct them to to show them that it’s legit, and make it so they have somewhere else to field their questions to other than your own personal knowledge of gender. check out our friends and family section if you want to be able to have articles and videos and stuff to show them about it.

-newt

Anonymous:

This is complicated, sorry. im AFAB, but i want to be a boy. im really into "girly" things though, like dresses/makeup and played with "girly" toys as a kid, i like boys,etc. but ive always had all guy friends, and been a very agressive athlete, and been good at traditionally male things like math. I communicate and think like a man. This is way tmi but ive also always wanted a penis partly bc im envious of how easy it is for guys to get off. Idk if im trans or just fiercely reject gender roles.

you sound pretty trans to me. liking dresses and make up doesn’t contradict that.

-newt