thatdiabolicalfeminist:

On a personal level, being misogynist, ableist, homophobic, etc. is not just about feeling hatred for marginalised groups. Hatred is a symptom, and not everyone has that symptom. Sometimes it’s pity. Or creepy dehumanising fascination. Or indifference. Or ignorance and a self-absorbed refusal to learn to be better.

But it’s not about your feelings at all - it’s about actions and whether your actions support an oppressive system.

That’s why you can’t say, “I’m not misogynist! I love women!” and have people go, “well, you know your feelings best!” It’s not about your feelings. It’s about what you’re doing and if it’s harmful. And you do not get to decide if you’re harming others.

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