Life Outside The Binary

Anonymous:

Hey so like im genderfluid but im starting to question myself on that i think im agender? Like i dont really like the concept of genders? Plze help

thechekhov:

So, this question was one of the latest in the pile that I’ve ignored.
For that I’m sorry. I have about 450 asks right now and they are just piling up more and more. :/
However, I wanted to address this because I guess I don’t talk about being agender all that often. Or at least it feels like I never do. It isn’t something that comes to mind. I did a few comics about it, but they always ended up being more “here’s my gender philosophy” instead of “here’s my experience.”
Let’s start at the beginning instead. This might get kinda long.
My worldview, my explanation of it, my words, might not suit everyone. I know that there are several points in here that people can take issue with. But this is just my experience. Obviously, everyone has theirs.
This is what I remember going through, how I remember thinking about my gender identity - before I was mature enough to understand the separation of genitals and gender, and after I learned more about it, made changes to my logic, etc.
To this day, I’m not out to my family - which kind of puts a spin on my ‘societal role’ theory, huh? But the truth is, I don’t feel safe being out, and despite the fact that I WISH my family could view me as agender, I know that the risks and the emotional toll would not be worth the outcome.
Still, I’m basically out to my friends and close acquaintances and that’s enough for me. My everyday life isn’t plagued with constant reminders of ‘you’re a girl’ and I’ve since grown way more comfortable with my gender identity in general, because I don’t feel the need to hide it from surrounding people. It helps when you’re in an environment where you can be comfortable to experiment with your expression.